i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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