TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
