No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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