the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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