The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
They are going to name an STD after you.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
