i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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