Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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