There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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