My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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