My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
