you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize