Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
