Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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