she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
