"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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