Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
