The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
