I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
