My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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