If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
