I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Let's get the cat blown out
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
