Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
