ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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