Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
