Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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