would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
