Rock
Scissors
Fuck
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Randomize
