What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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