Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
