I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize