Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
