It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize