Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I can tuck mytits in my pants
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
