is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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