Where is the hickey?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
