this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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