Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize