Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
