when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
