Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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