I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
