yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize