Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
