i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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