You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
