she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Let the clothes fall where they may.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
