yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
