Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
