R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
