it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
