you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
