there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
