me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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