Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
