and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
