How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
false alarm, still single
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
