how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
