whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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