I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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