He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
