Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Jerry, you need to find god
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
How external is "for external use only"?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
