I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
