Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
