When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
